Butts Are Gross

I haven’t posted anything original since I moved out of my mom’s house because I don’t have a scanner please kill meeeeee.

saeto15:

tank-grrl:

hello-missmayhem:

cptprocrastination:

doomhamster:

belcanta:

nikkidubs:

attentiondeficitaptitude:

belcanta:

Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. 

Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea.
The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income.
But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture.

"BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?" screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. "You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!""But where will people get the incentive to work?!" Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. "You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!”
"But who will serve me?" grumbled Marty McMoneybags. "Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??”

I laughed. This is perfect! Well said!

The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)
And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!
Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.
And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.
Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.
And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.
The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?
TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.

reblogging for more top commentary

They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours. 
But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred.
Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than.

The picture is awesome, but read the commentary, that’s what I’m reblogging for.

i work full time and i can’t even imagine making 33k a year.  It would feel like being a fucking millionaire to me at this point.  But even if I had enough money to live comfortably and not be struggling all the time, I’d still want to pursue a career because who the fuck wants to sit around all day?  
The only difference is I’d be able to pursue the career I fucking went to school for.  Because at this point getting a “real” job requires money, and if I can’t even pay my gas bill on time how the fuck am I gonna move out of state?

saeto15:

tank-grrl:

hello-missmayhem:

cptprocrastination:

doomhamster:

belcanta:

nikkidubs:

attentiondeficitaptitude:

belcanta:

Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. 

Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea.

The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income.

But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture.

"BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?" screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. "You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!"

"But where will people get the incentive to work?!" Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. "You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!”

"But who will serve me?" grumbled Marty McMoneybags. "Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??”

I laughed. This is perfect! Well said!

The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)

And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!

Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.

And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.

Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.

And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.

The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?

TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.

reblogging for more top commentary

They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours. 

But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred.

Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than.

The picture is awesome, but read the commentary, that’s what I’m reblogging for.

i work full time and i can’t even imagine making 33k a year.  It would feel like being a fucking millionaire to me at this point.  But even if I had enough money to live comfortably and not be struggling all the time, I’d still want to pursue a career because who the fuck wants to sit around all day?  

The only difference is I’d be able to pursue the career I fucking went to school for.  Because at this point getting a “real” job requires money, and if I can’t even pay my gas bill on time how the fuck am I gonna move out of state?

yennranmma:

whenever “strong female characters” insult men by calling them girls  my eyes roll so far back in my head i can see my brain cells die

no-ifs-ands-or-butter:

YET DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL STUCK IN NICOLAS CAGE

What if
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter

What if
women were the ones who started wars

What if
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly

What if
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun

What if
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs

What if
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis

What if
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands

What if
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes

What if
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons

What if
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
with socks
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
or
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
or
“The truth about impotence”

What if
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”

What if
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job

What if
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running

And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.

For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl. 

She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.

(via cartophilist)

misogynocology:

is that sarah jessica parker

fatfeministfetishist:

atomic-x:

sapphicnymph:

atomic-glitter:

*waits for some neckbeard to coin the phrase, “earbud-zoned”*

im laughin bc that’s literally 99% of the reason women wear earbuds

I have literally walked around with earbuds and nothing playing for that reason.

^^^ same

fatfeministfetishist:

atomic-x:

sapphicnymph:

atomic-glitter:

*waits for some neckbeard to coin the phrase, “earbud-zoned”*

im laughin bc that’s literally 99% of the reason women wear earbuds

I have literally walked around with earbuds and nothing playing for that reason.

^^^ same

spacetwinks:

there is absolutely no aesthetic i identify with more than “spider-man cartoon maker”

Holy cow this is the most beautiful piece of shit I have ever played. Best game my grandma ever bought me, hands down.I cannot even begin to tell you how many hours were wasted on this.

davesproot:

cobrastein:

ghostlycoos:

RELEASE THE PIGEONS

the person that goes running after them omfg

"Archimedes, no!"

This is it. It’s the Birdemic.

davesproot:

cobrastein:

ghostlycoos:

RELEASE THE PIGEONS

the person that goes running after them omfg

"Archimedes, no!"

This is it. It’s the Birdemic.

kgishfishart:

So mad they didn’t end up together!

So This is a Thing I Thought Was a Good Idea in 2012.

CHAPTER ONE – ALL THIS POKEMON BULLSHIT

A young man lies fast asleep in the soothing embrace of the spoor slime of his recuperacoon. It is the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season’s equinox, the day of this young troll’s larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. His name is Karkat Vantas, and this is the day he starts his Pokemon adventure!

“SHRAGHHGRRGSAHHH!” Came a familiar voice from the hallway. Karkat ignored it. “KRAAKKKKKYB!” Not able to drown out the sound of his lusus’ cries any longer, Karkat rose out of the slime and prepared for the day. He had completely forgotten that today was the day he got a Pokemon from the Pokemon professor. Luckily, Crab Dad was there to remind him.

“KRKKKKSHHHSAK!” Crab Dad reminded him lovingly.

“OH SHIT YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT. I HAVE TO GO ON THAT STUPID ASS ADVENTURE NOW, DON’T I?” Karkat said as he rolled his eyes. “I DON’T KNOW WHY I HAVE TO DO THAT SHIT.” He put on his obligatory AWESOME Pokemon cap and went on his merry way.

As he reached the professor’s lab, which was obvious because it was the largest of the four houses in town, Karkat noticed a familiar face.

“OH H3Y TH3R3 K4RKL3S.”

“OH SHIT WHAT A SURPRISE, IT’S TEREZI. WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

“H3H3H, K4RK4T DO 1 3V3R N33D 4 R3ASON TO S33 YOU?”

“FUCK, WHATEVER.” Karkat brushed past the charming young lady and made his way into the lab. Troll Professor Oak was standing there looking a little suspicious as always, with his handing out free Pokemon to children and whatnot.

“Oh hello there, Karkat! I was wondering when you would get here. Today is the day you get your first Pokemon, after all!”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “OH YEAH, I’M SO EXCITED. I GET TO GO ON THIS SEEMINGLY SIMPLE AND INNOCENT ADVENTURE THAT WILL PROBABLY LEAD TO SOMETHING FAR MORE SERIOUS AND I’LL HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD OR SOME SHIT WHY WOULDN’T I WANT TO DO THAT? SOUNDS GREAT.”

“Hohoho!” Troll Professor Oak laughed. “You always have been a spirited one! Here, you get to be the first to choose your Pokemon today!” he then presented a box containing three Pokeballs, and offered them to Karkat to chose.

“SHIT, I WANT BULBASAUR. HE LOOKS LIKE A BADASS.”

“Well alright then!” Troll Professor Oak handed him the Pokeball with Bulbasaur in it and closed the box. “Then I suppose I should explain how to battle!”
“JUST W41T R1GHT TH3R3!” Terezi Pyrope threw the door open dramatically.
“WHAT THE SHIT FUCKASS WERE YOU WAITING OUT THERE LISTENING TO OUR CONVERSATION JUST TO BURST IN AT THAT MOMENT? GOG YOU ARE SO LAME.”

“WH4T3V3R K4RK4T YOUR3 JUST J34LOUS YOU D1DNT TH1NK 4BOUT 1T F1RST.” She said smugly.

“TROLL PROF3SSOR O4K, I W4NT CH4RM4ND3R!” Terezi shouted, confident in her decision. “I’M YOUR R1V4L NOW! W3 H4V3 TO H4V3 4 COMM3MOR4TIV3 B4TTL3 TO C3L3BR4T3! GO PYR4LSP1T3!”

Terezi let out her Charmander, apparently named Pyralspite, who was ready for battle.

“OH MY GOD TEREZI, REALLY? WHAT THE FUCK? I DON’T NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!”

“Oh but Mr. Vantas, it’s customary to battle your rival when receiving your Pokemon!” Troll Professor Oak explained.

“OH FINE WHATEVER. GO BULBASAUR!”

The two of them proceeded to have the most boring battle ever, full of tackles and scratching. In the end, Karkat emerged the victor against all odds, and was extremely pleased with himself.

“CAN I GO NOW?” Karkat inquired.

“Oh yes, yes. You know how to battle now, so I suppose that’s fine.”

“waiit up a 2ec.” No one had noticed Sollux joining them. “ii want a pokemon too.”

“Sure, kid. I’ve got a Squirtle for you!” Troll Professor Oak said, handing him the last Pokeball.

“cool. Thank2.”

“Yes, yes, now please go. I have work to do.” Troll professor Oak pushed them out of the lab. Terezi had a huge grin on her face and leaned on Karkat’s shoulder, sniffing his hair.

“W3LL 1 GU3SS 1 SHOULD G3T GO1NG. I N33D TO G3T MY F1RST GYM B4DG3 B3FOR3 YOU GUYS!” She said gleefully, and then pranced towards route 1.

“well then ii gue22 ii’ll get goiing, too. 2ee you later, karkat.”

Karkat sat alone on the dirt road outside of Troll professor Oak’s lab, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

CHAPTER TWO – FUCKING ERRANDS

Karkat realized that he had forgotten to name his Pokemon. While he didn’t really care that his Pokemon was just called Bulbasaur, he decided that he didn’t want Terezi one-upping him on the naming thing. He WOULD have a cooler name than her stupid Charmander.

“HMM. I GUESS I SHOULD GIVE YOU A COOL NAME, HUH?” He said to Bulbasaur. He decided that as long as the Pocket Monster behaved, he could be a normal monster, not in a pocket. “HOW ABOUT SOMETHING TOTALLY AWESOME, LIKE… TROLL WILL SMITH?”

Bulbasaur looked at him with a horrified expression.
“OKAY HOW ABOUT TROLL JOHN CUSACK?” Bulbasaur was equally displeased. “FINE, I’LL JUST CALL YOU THRESHECUTIONER. HOW ABOUT THAT YOU LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT?”

Bulbasaur thought about it, and nodded approvingly. When they were finally done with that shit, they headed out along route one. They ran into a few rattatas and pidoves, laying waste to all in their path. Once they arrived in the next town, they went to the pokemart to buy some pokeballs. Because you can’t have an adventure if you don’t have any balls.

“I NED TO BUY SOME POKEBALLS.” Karkat said to the store clerk.

“OOOOH MISTER KARKAT! I am so glad you’re here!” The clerk replied while swooning. “I need you to deliver this to Troll Professor Oak immediately!”
“WHAT THE HELL. DO IT YOURSELF.”

“Oh, but mister Karkat! I can’t! I have to watch the shop!” Karkat scowled at him.

“THEN GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT! DON’T YOU HAVE, LIKE SOME MAIL DELIVERY SERVICE OR SOME SHIT? CANT I GET SOME POKEBALLS FIRST?”

“I’m afraid not, mister Karkat! The one and only mailman died of a fatal stab- er heart attack yesterday! And I am looking too sexy to get anything from the back room at the moment!”

“WHAT THE FUCK.”

“Yes it was tragic. Now please, deliver this package before… oh, and my shirt opened?”

The clerk stood there with his hands on his hips, doing what Karkat could only describe as smoldering, with his shirt open. Karkat wasn’t even sure how his shirt had opened, but there it was. He couldn’t take the horror any longer, and agreed to deliver the package.

“THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING GUY I HAVE EVER SEEN.” Thresecutioner nodded.

They battled more low-level useless Pokemon before finally reaching Troll Professor Oak.

“HERE. TAKE THIS FUCKING PACKAGE AND SIGN OFF ON IT. I NEED TO GET SOME DAMN POKEBALLS.” He told Troll Profesor Oak.

“Hohoho, well I don’t see the correlation, but this is the package I was waiting for! What a coincidence that YOU would bring it to me, mister Vantas! Here, have a Pokedex! I need you to fill it up for me! Also, this package is actually a pokemon egg, and I want you to hatch it for me!”
“WHAT THE SHIT.”

“Yes it’s very intriguing.”

“NO, I MEAN I HAD TO COME ALL THE WAY BACK HERE JUST FOR YOU TO GIVE ME WHAT I WAS DELIVERING TO YOU. FUCK.”

“Hohoho.”

Karkat then traveled back to the next town, which really was only three houses, and went to the pokemart.
“NOW CAN I PLEASE GET MY FUCKING POKEBALLS.” He demanded.

“OOOOH! Mister Karkat! Yes, of course you can!” Moaned the shopkeeper. Karkat grimaced, and bought five pokeballs.

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW MY NAME WAS KARKAT ANYWAY?”

“Oh… Oh, well… OOOOOHHH, MISTER KARKAT, OOH!” The shopkeeper sprawled himself out on the checkstand and Karkat got out of there as quickly as possible.

“I„, uMM„, rEALLY THINK THAT WE SHOULD FREE THE POKEMON„, sO„, uMM… sO THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO BATTLE EACH OTHER„, aND CAN BE HAPPY LIVING PEACEFUL LIVES„, i GUESS.”

“OH GOG IT’S THAT IDIOT.” Karkat grimaced and walked five feet to the middle of town and saw Tavros trying to convince people that battling pokemon was wrong and that they shouldn’t enslave them and stuff them into pokeballs. What an idiot. Everyone knows that it’s a birthright to force animals to poison, freeze, burn, paralyze, and beat each other to death.

But no, that wasn’t enough for this guy. He didn’t believe that pokemon liked fighting. He thought the world would be a better place if trolls and pokemon weren’t reliant on each other, if they were just FRIENDS. If Karkat didn’t know any better, he would think that Tavros had some ulterior motives. But that guy was too much of a pansy for that.

“sHiT mAn HeS rIgHt YoU kNoW. yOu GuYs GoTtA lIsTeN tO tHe MaN. hE kNoWs WhAtS uP. pOkEmOn ArE mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS aNd We TaKe ThEm FoR… sHiT i FoRgOt WhAt I wAs SaYiNg.”

Gamzee Makara. Of course he would be here.